| | "The New York Daily News, fine bastion of reporting that it is, released an article today discussing the rise of nerd popularity
among women in general, and famous women in particular. Detail is given
into the dating exploits of Christina Aguilera and Elin Nordegren
(nerdy Tiger Woods' supermodel squeeze), among a bunch of regular
Janes. Apparently being a nerd is now in?"
Responses to this article:
#1 - Male:
BS.
The thing about this article is that it's talking about what good
providers nerds make. And what nice guys they are. And how much of a
'turn on' that is. People - women and men both - don't like what's good
for them. It just doesn't seem to be the way things work. Intelligence,
introversion, and individualistic tendencies (standard geek traits) !=
Sexy. Eval(Good breadwinner + good hair + muscles == sexy) == 1.*
The famous couples in TFA where the male is paid millions to ACT like he's a geek are not good examples.
Geeks are, of course, willing to put a lot more effort into
relationships sometimes. And they are sometimes willing to learn,
because it's what they like to do. Occasionally they can be interested
in learning interpersonal and social skills. That can make them easier
to deal with in some ways, and (or so I've been told) intelligence can
make them slightly better in certain situations where a bit of
knowledge about biology is helpful. Does this make them more
attractive? Not really. Does it make it easier for them to get girls to
stick around for a while? Kinda. In my experience, the 'geeky' drive to
throw intense, unimaginable-to-non-geeks effort into a problem until it
is 'solved' has been a great detriment to every relationship I have
ever attempted. Add to that the fact that most of the geeks I've known
have been idealists, perfectionists, and socially inept for various
reasons, and you get a group of people that aren't that sexy. Female
geeks generally have their pick of the litter, and that's a sign that
it's a very strong seller's market to me.
Sorry. This article isn't accurate. Modern society isn't
getting deeper, it's just that its advice columnists want to think they
are.
#2 - Female:
I am sure there will be a lot of comments on this article like "Yay! I
can get a hottie!" now. However, speaking as a woman who has dated
several geeks, I thought I would share a woman's perspective.
1)
I can't tell you how many geek guys I know who can't even take care of
their most basic personal hygiene needs. You need to shower at least
once a day and use deodorant to become reasonably attractive to any
woman. No woman is turned on by stinky body odor.
2)
Self-confidence is attractive. Unfortunately, many geeks think
self-confidence is something for guys who brag about every "conquest"
they have. It's not. Self-confidence is simply respect and love for who
you are. Love yourself first and good relationships will follow. This
is difficult, but it's the key ingredient to any successful
relationship. If you know who you are and you love who you are, people
will love and respect you that much more.
3) Complaining/whining
is not attractive. Some geeks have very bitter personalities and spend
a lot of time whining about how the world would be a better place if
only this or that. (The most common one I hear is whining about a job
they're in.) If you complain, do something about it! Start your own
business. Program something better on the side and sell it. Take
control of the situation and create something better instead of griping.
4)
Being a slave isn't attractive. If you make it clear that you'll do
anything for a woman, and grovel for her affection, you're going to end
up attracting the wrong type of woman. Any successful relationship is a
two-way street. While there's nothing wrong with showing your love and
affection, groveling only means you'll get taken advantage of and
perhaps become bitter about (see #3.)
5) Lead a balanced life.
No one is less attractive than someone who sits on a computer all day
and never gets out of the house. Plus, it doesn't make for a healthy
life of your own (I should know; I work from home and often spend 12-16
hours a day in front of the computer.) Get out there, meet people, and
have fun. It will make you feel better about yourself to have a good
group of friends around, as well.
I have been in several great
relationships with geeky guys. I find the most successful relationships
I have are with guys who already have a decent level of self-confidence
and several friends who respect and love them. They may be interested
in computers, but they are also interested in having fun and getting
out of the house on a regular basis. Take this guide to heart and you
can have a good relationship with the right woman as well.
Amen.
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| | Posted 6/9/2005 2:22 PM - 22 Views
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